lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
