I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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