Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize