i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I think people are normalizing furries
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
