what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
