okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
