so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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