I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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