I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
