She said her name was "party"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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