my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
