there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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