very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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