it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
