Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If I die, sorry about rent.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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