we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
