I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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