Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
