My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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