FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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