we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
