Non-Jews are for practice
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
