she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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