the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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