oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
