P.S. I can't hear my feet
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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