It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
