4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
As shirtless as possible
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The feeling are messing with the penis
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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