You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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