I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
