im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
