I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
