I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i wish my penis had a tongue
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
