How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
