the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
