Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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