can u get pink eye on your cock?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
