the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
