I hate your face
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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