True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
