Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize