New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
