do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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