Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
