He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
