a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
