I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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