thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
