I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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