so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How naked do you want me to be?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
